If you only know me from what I post about running, cycling, and triathlon, it would probably be pretty easy to assume that I spend all of my time training. Some days it feels like I do. There is always another run to get in, another bike ride, another swim, another class to teach, or another race sitting somewhere on the calendar. But there is obviously a lot more to life than what shows up on a training plan.

I moved to Brooklyn last year, and that move changed a lot of things for me. Living in New York has been an experience. There is always something happening, and there is never really a shortage of things to do. I can walk out of my apartment and be surrounded by people, restaurants, parks, runners, cyclists, tourists, and all of the general chaos that comes with living in New York City. I like it. I like being around people and having things going on. At the same time, it can be a lot, especially when you already have a full schedule.

Work takes up a big part of my life. I spend a lot of time working with recruiters and dealing with everything that comes with that job. I’m also coaching cycling classes, which is something I genuinely enjoy. Then there is my own training. This year I’ve somehow convinced myself that training for a 70.3 and the NYC Marathon at the same time is a reasonable thing to do.

It probably seemed more reasonable when I signed up.

The funny thing is that the training has actually become one of the things that helps me manage everything else. When life gets busy, running gives me somewhere to put all of that energy. I can go out for a run in Prospect Park and for an hour I’m not thinking about work, emails, schedules, or whatever else is going on. I’m just running.

Sometimes that’s exactly what I need.

There have also been parts of my personal life this year that haven’t been as simple as I’d like them to be. Relationships change. People move. Priorities change. You make plans with someone and then life takes you in completely different directions. Some things work out the way you hoped they would, and some don’t.

I’ve learned that you can spend a lot of time trying to figure out why something happened or what you could have done differently. Sometimes that’s useful. Sometimes you’re just going in circles.

Eventually, you have to accept that some things are outside your control.

That’s probably one of the harder lessons I’ve had to learn. I’m used to setting a goal and then working toward it. If I want to run a certain distance, I can make a training plan. If I want to improve my cycling, I can put in the work. If I want to get better at something, there is usually a fairly obvious path forward.

People and relationships don’t really work that way.

You can’t train for them.

You can’t control another person’s decisions.

You can’t make something happen just because you want it badly enough.

That has been a little harder to accept than I would like to admit.

I think that’s also part of why I have gotten more serious about running and endurance sports. There is something comforting about having a goal that is completely dependent on what I do. I can’t control the weather on race day, or how I feel that morning, or what happens around me during the race. But I can control whether I trained. I can control whether I showed up. I can control whether I keep moving when things get difficult.

That doesn’t mean training fixes everything. It doesn’t.

Sometimes you finish a long run and the problems you had before you started are still there. You still have to deal with them. But at least you’ve had a couple of hours where you weren’t thinking about them.

And sometimes that’s enough.

This year has been a lot of different things at once. I’ve been working, coaching, training, traveling, spending time with family and friends, figuring out what I want the next few years of my life to look like, and occasionally wondering why I thought adding a 70.3 and a marathon to all of that was a good idea.

But I think that’s what makes this year interesting.

The races are a big part of it, but they’re not the whole story. The NYC Marathon will be one day. The 70.3 will be one day. The finish lines will come and go.

Everything else is the part that actually makes up a life.

The people you meet. The places you end up. The friendships you make. The things that don’t work out. The unexpected opportunities. The mornings when you get up and go for a run even though you don’t really feel like it. The nights when you decide to skip the workout because something else matters more.

I’m trying to pay more attention to all of that now.

For a long time, I’ve been pretty focused on the next goal. What’s next? What’s the next race? What’s the next promotion? What’s the next place I’m going? What’s the next thing I need to accomplish?

There’s nothing wrong with having goals. I don’t think I’ll ever stop setting them.

But I’m also starting to realize that if I’m always focused on what’s next, I can miss what’s happening right now.

So yes, I’m training for the NYC Marathon. I’m training for a 70.3. I’m still going to obsess over mileage and probably spend way too much time looking at my Garmin.

But I’m also trying to enjoy the life that exists between those workouts and finish lines.

Because eventually the race is over.

The training plan ends.

The medal goes in a drawer.

And then you wake up the next morning and life starts again.

That’s the part I’m really interested in these days.